We’ve all heard the Common saying “Never go to bed angry,” But should you?
I use to believe that going to bed angry was actually beneficial. When you and your significant other are overly heated things might be said that you don’t mean and unfortunately you cant take them back once they’re said. Much like Carrie Underwood sings in Little Toy Guns, I’m sure we all have been in a situation where we wish words were just a bang bang rolling off our tongues. No sting, to hurt, no damage done. Unfortunately that’s not the case and I know that when I’m angry enough things just come out. As immature as it sounds sometimes you want the other person to feel how they made you feel. So, instead of hashing it out in the heat of the moment I’d rather go to bed and calmly discuss the dispute in the morning after a nights rest. Once upon a time it use to be so easy to go to bed without resolving the issue. I’d wake up feeling refreshed and like nothing had ever happened.
However, After two kids and life, going to bed angry is nearly impossible now a days. Day’s will pass with nothing resolved putting a one brick a day between you and your significant other. Another argument arises. nothing is resolved. Add three bricks a day. This pattern will continue till you and your partner have nothing but a brick wall between you. And let me tell you that that wall is a lot harder to chip away than if the two of you would have taken five minutes to cool off in separate rooms and tried communicating through the problem again. It can really end a great relationship.
I read a few articles that either agreed or disagreed with going to bed angry. The common marriage myths is one that believes going to bed angry can be beneficial. The writer believes that couples should take six seconds to kiss and say goodnight, pushing the argument aside till after both have had a nights sleep and calm mind. He also says that to ensure he conflict doesn’t get pushed under the rug to set aside a “meeting” to discuss things you loved about the other during the week and things that bothered you. Now I don’t believe that I agree with his point of you on this. I understand and can appreciate his view, but that doesn’t always work for me. BUT he addresses many great suggestions on how to keep your relationship healthy and I encourage everyone to read it.
Another article that I read is on the five consequences of going to bed angry. This writer believes that going to bed with unresolved issues is absolutely detrimental for any relationship. He talks about the wall that is put between couples by not working through conflict as it occurs. Which is just what I previously talked about. He also talks about though getting a good nights rest may be beneficial in reaching common grounds, does it really do any good when you wake up feeling just as upset as the night before? That’s not a fresh start. It also sends the message that you would rather be right and win than try to understand one another. All of which puts a block on intimacy and though some may disagree, having an intimate connection it vital in a relationship.
What do you think? Does going to bed angry work in your relationship?