From Reality

Better late than never! On this sunny Wine-full Wednesday Kenny Chesney’s song Reality has been stuck on replay in my mind. For those who don’t know the song here are the lyrics.

For me it’s a beach bar
Or on a boat underneath the stars
Or with my band up on a stage
For a while everything’s okay

For some it’s a fast car
Moonshine in a mason jar
And everybody has their way
Somehow to escape

Reality, yeah, sometimes life
Ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be
So let’s take a chance and live this fantasy
‘Cause everybody needs to break free from reality

Yeah, some days it’s a bitch, it’s a bummer
We need a rock and roll show in the summer
To let the music take us away
Take our minds to a better place

Where we feel that sense of freedom
Leave our worries behind, we don’t need ’em
All we need is a sunny day and an old tailgate
And we’ll escape

Reality, yeah, sometimes life
Ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be
So let’s take a chance and live this fantasy
‘Cause everybody needs to break free from reality

Everybody raise your hands and voice tonight
Set your soul free, let’s take a carpet ride
We’ll leave it all behind

Reality, yeah, sometimes life
Ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be
So let’s take a chance and live this fantasy
‘Cause everybody needs to break free from reality

Come on everybody, break free
Come on everybody, break free

For me it is definitely on a white sandy beach, clear blue water hitting my toes. Margarita in one hand, a good book in the other. Hot sun beating down on my face… Ahh I can smell the salt now. Hear the waves… I can not WAIT for a beach trip this year!! I did love seeing my baby enjoy the sand for the first time last year, but a trip without the kids would be lovely. I’ll take them to a sandy beach at the lake. The sand is what mine enjoy anyway.

Whats your escape from reality?

Let Children Be Children

This weekend I was scrolling through my social media, cheating on my wine with a homemade margarita, when I came across a picture of a beautiful little girl. This young girl could not have been older than four years old and I couldn’t help but notice that her face was caked in make-up. A FOUR year old!!

I can’t help but think this is seriously what is wrong with society. It is bad enough that children are growing up with social media and internet constantly sexualizing girls, but I think parents guilty too.

Why are parents putting their daughters in pageants, allowing them to wear revealing clothing and caking their faces in make-up? Why are parents putting their five year old daughters in  provocative dance classes, dancing to explicit songs? It may be cute. It may be funny. But it is damaging to the child’s mental health. Kids need to be kids. They need to spend time playing outside with a ball. Not worrying if they are more beautiful than the girls competing in a contest. If they lose, they wonder what was wrong with them. Were my eyelashes not long enough? Did I need more make-up? Maybe I needed a different outfit? Are these questions a child hardly in elementary school need to be asking? I think not.

This is not okay.

Because of social media and the internet our daughters are inevitably going to learn the harsh realization that the vast majority of this world see women as a sexual object instead of a person. So why rush that? Social media and the internet has been the the largest contributor to women obtaining eating disorders, depression, and the need for plastic surgery. I read this article on the effects of this sexualized culture and this statement really spoke to me; “if we can change what girls see early on, we can change how they feel about themselves later in life.” It really gives you something to think about.

If children are raised to value beauty, how are they suppose to ever be comfortable in their own skin? I wasn’t raised that way. I wasn’t put into pageants and these grown up dance classes. Thankfully I was put into several different sports. I grew up playing rough and tough with the boys in dirt. Playing video games. That sorts of stuff. It wasn’t till middle school that I started realizing a change in what was normal to me. Suddenly it wasn’t “cool” to be getting dirty with a contact ball. The girls I were around started experimenting with make up and talking about the thong they stole from an older sibling and boys began flocking to them. Suddenly none of my friends that were boys were interested in me because I wasn’t pretty. That is when I became aware of the standards set by media. And it just gets worse from there.

Teen years in high school is when the sexualizing became a huge problem. This is when media really began to hit hard. Now everyone has been exposed  to what the media deems a perfect girl should look like. She needs big breast, big butt, tiny waist, long legs, make-up, and clothing that shows this all off. In high school I had a tiny waist and flat stomach, lacking in everything else. I had friends starving themselves, cutting themselves, and emotionally troubled because they couldn’t look like the girls on t.v. I have, and still do struggle with accepting that “perfect” girl will NEVER be me. I have worn make-up to make my face more “socially acceptable.” I have seriously considered getting major breast inductions and possibly butt implants. I’d like to inject my lips with botox, and have a perfect manicure at all times. It has really depressed me for years that unfortunately I can’t afford these things. However I have thought hard on why I feel the need to have these things and the answer I’ve found is honestly to just be what society says beauty is. It’s not for me. It’s so men will find me attractive. By men finding me attractive, I thought that I would actually feel good about myself.

Let me just say to all the possible young girls reading this, and to the ordinary girls like me, beauty does not define you! I have found a man (that I will marry some day) who has found me beautiful with a body previously marked up from having an other mans child. A body far from perfect. He has accepted my insecurities and has endlessly discovered new ways to make me see that I am beautiful the way that I am. My body may not be perfect but it’s perfect to him.

Mothers of daughters, shield her from these false expectations as long as possible. She will soon enough, feel the need to look like a Kardashian. But for now, let her be a kid. Don’t rush it.

If The World Were Blind

The other night, after all the kids were asleep and I got my quiet time with a glass of wine, I had a random thought.

If I had to choose, would I rather be blind or deaf? 

If I were blind I wouldn’t be able to see the faces of my beautiful children. If I were blind I wouldn’t be able to see the excitement on Logan’s face when he builds something he’s proud of. I wouldn’t be able to see Amelia’s eye widen when she experiences something new for the first time. I’d never know how beautiful life is! But that’s just the physical stuff.

 I were deaf, I would never know Logan’s sweet voice calling me mamma or Amelia’s cries. I’d never know what it’s like to be able to get lost in the sound of music and feel the emotions it can bring or release.

I could go on and on about the negatives of being blind or deaf but then I wondered how this world would be different if we ALL were blind…

If the world were blind I think we might all actually be closer. Being accepted or ridiculed for the physical appearance would no longer be an issue. Bullying solved! No social media or internet to rip relationships apart or tell you you aren’t pretty enough in this society.  Hatred of ones self because they don’t look like Malibu Barbie, gone. There would be no one to compare you’re looks to. How could you be self-conscious with nothing to visually compare yourself to?

People would fall in love with the beauty of ones mind. Their thoughts, opinions, morals, beliefs, etc… That would be all that mattered. No more hatred or violence to witness. Now of course there would still be the Negative Nancy’s. Life wouldn’t be perfect. But no one would be buried in their phones and missing life because well, they wouldn’t be able to see the screen. Verbal communication would once again be the primary form of communication and I for one would love that. I hate having a conversation with someone who can’t look away from their phone or put it down long enough to share a meal! When I think about the world being blind I feel so much peace. I think it would be a beautiful thing.

If the world were blind do you think our lives would be better?